How do I handle difficult or demanding patients and family members before, during, and after surgery?

Often times, being difficult before surgery is, to some patient a defense mechanism to deal with the anxiety. Using therapeutic communication is the way to go. One example, when speaking to the patient do it at eye level, that transcribes respect. If it's a long surgery, reach out to the family, with the surgeon's permission, to update and reassure them. After surgery, report is given to the recovery RN. Just mention the patient and family behavior as a side note so they can be mentally prepared.

Always introduce yourself,speak softly and maintain eye contact.
Explain all procedures and answers all questions to the best of your ability..BEFORE!
DURING...give updates to the family members of how the surgery is going as often as you can.
AFTER....allow the family members to see the patient for 5 minutes to provide reassurance and answer questions to the bet of your ability....
DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE to speak to you and treat you with disrespect.EVER.

It’s very important to be understanding and know that they’re terrified and probably not very familiar with the medical process they’re getting ready to go through. Be patient with them and explain or keep up-to-date with family on what’s going on. Keep explanations simple and easy to understand. Try not to take their attitudes personally.