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How should I deal with a patronizing doctor?


August 11th, 2021

Haha! Oh, boy!! This is a tough one! I am very direct and I have actually asked a physician if he realizes that his tone is very patronizing. He apologized and said it was unintended, however, he continued to be patronizing. Please recognize that you cannot change their behavior, only your response to it. We are supposed to be collegial, nursing is a profession too. We are not subordinate to physicians. Just be prepared. Know your patient (current lab values, treatments, vent settings, IV drips and rates, medications) and be ready with an answer to his question. He needs to see that you are a highly skilled professional. Earn his respect.

August 17th, 2021

I don’t and I suggest you don’t deal with them either. Sometimes they just like to test the waters but most of the time they rely on us so they learn to trust and respect us. After all we are their eyes and ears. They write the orders but the work don’t get done without us !!!

April 11th, 2022

Unfortunately there are a lot of pompous assholes with MD's. That doesn't make them GOD. Be respectful, show that you are intelligent and professional, and don't take the bait. Those patronizing docs learn quickly who is a great nurse and you may even end up friends.
If it gets out of hand, report them to your supervisor and chief nursing officer . But be professional, don't stoop to their level.

January 13th, 2022

Hmm - I have worked for so many and my number one advice is to know your shit! Very hard to patronize someone that has done the research, don’t the correct actions, used excellent critical thinking skills and thought ahead!

Some doctors are just assholes ha (I worked for 2 neurosurgeons, there are none worse) but you quickly learn that in almost all situations it isn’t personally against you and they will not remember they were jerks the next hour because…it wasn’t personal to you!

Many patronizing doctors also respond well to upfront no Bull shit nurses - they like nurses that can keep up with them, anticipate what they want and don’t add extra fluff and words because they are busy and too many nurses waste so much time.

If it gets really personal then report them - just understand that in most cases it won’t fix them. They might be better for a week but you just have to stand up for yourself directly to them.

April 8th, 2023

I've never let a Doctor treat me poorly. Get in his face and tell him your good at what you do and he's good at what he does. Your a licensed health professional too and deserve respect. If that does not work report his behavior as harassment. I've never had to go that far. Stand your ground. He needs to reign in his attitude. Ask him what made him become a Doctor. Then let him know how you feel. You matter and do not deserve to be treated with disrespect. If you do not say anything he will continue to treat other nurses that way too. He's just a man with different education. No one special just because he went to med school. Applies to all female Doctors too.

April 5th, 2024

Love the answers here. I believe the majority of the time, doctors did not realize how they are coming across, and are mainly only concerned with relaying information, not necessarily how it is communicated. With some doctors, they respond better if you speak in a more authoritative, voice—very solution oriented with your delivery. and, as said I no other responses, just be prepared with all the information that they might ask you and, that helps make conversations faster and easier

February 29th, 2024

Be compassionate as with everybody you deal with. If he needs to feel like he is better than you or everyone just be aware of his/ her insecurity. No need to feel patronized at all

November 12th, 2023

When my dog has poor behavior - the dog trainer has me not giving any attention to that behavior, or redirecting or removing my pup on out of control behavior… there ya go…same as a kid or a provider in my opinion… (except I’d remove myself from the area if it was a provider)
It’s either that or write that person up to HR if it’s serious enough.

August 6th, 2023

LMAO! There are tricks you learn and after 23 yrs at this. I will call their ass at 3 am asking for something stupid like tums and state the family demanded I call! When they first answer I will quickly remind them I am the nurse that was yelled at and the family demanded I call! Only had to do it once! He knew I was sticking it to him!
Actually, the only issue in 23 yrs with a doc. I stay on top of my assessments and I always look at labs and meds during report! Anticipate and act early in the shift if possible.

May 16th, 2022

depends on who it is ... this used to happen wit the new interns and residents. usually a few back to back phone calls for routing orders in the middle of the night got them asking the senior residents for advise and they became very nice to work with.

If it is attending it is a bot more difficult and may need a direct no angst conversation like " my perception is you seem to have a problem with me. Please clarify what is going on." Best to do this in a quiet space with minimal surrounding drama. Snapping out in the midst of a code is not a good idea. Many times they will tell you their thoughts. sometimes it is their misplaced perception, a confusion, but sometimes you need to look at yourself and see how accurate their perceptions happen to be. The as everyone else says "make sure you know your stuff."

Then if it continues take ip up the nursing then HR chain of command as appropriate. Remember not all discipline is obvious nor reported to you. Lots of medical staff meetings happen with various level of results.

Frequently the doc who causes those problems is the best money generator in the institution and are difficult to corral. Then if the situation has not gotten better you changing jobs is the most likely outcome unless the doc does something outrageous and cannot be ignored.

September 30th, 2021

Report the individual to your nurse manager